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Frequently Asked Questions

Question:

What inspired you to start The Bonded Family ministry?

Answer:

All ministry must be the plan and inspiration of God.  In our case, the events, our our family backgrounds, personal and professional history and stories all enabled God to let His plan for our lives come to pass.
We certainly are far from perfect in our marriage or our family.  We do clearly see however that God has allowed us to take our sold out trust in Him and use it.  He has given us the ability to be transparent to 'take our messes and turn it into His message'.   To 'take our tests and turn it into a testimony'.   God is good.  We have seen His goodness and His glory in every aspect of our family.  He's not done.


Question:

What do you mean by 'bonded'?

Answer: If an individual has a solid relationship with God - is 'bonded' to a Heavenly Father who cares for them and wants them to find joy, peace and success, then they can enter into their marriage with it being 'a chord of three strands'.......
If the individuals have a 'bond servant' heart for Christ, then their marriage will be 'bonded' to God in a way that gives them strength, courage, power and might to handle the challenges and dynamics facing blended families.  When the children are in a family with the marriage solidly 'bonded' to a Heavenly Father who guides them, then they will naturally align - because they observe, learn and model - themselves in a special family that faces trials together and celebrates joys together.

Question:

The Bible states that 'God hates divorce'.  Is your ministry making divorce seem okay or acceptable in the church today?

Answer: God absolutely hates divorce.  In Malachi 2:16 the Bible states it clearly.
We too hate divorce.  It's not an okay or acceptable idea.
Perhaps we hate divorce for the same reasons God does.  He knew long ago, as we know, the wounds and ripple effect that divorce has. When you add children into that picture, God again knew long ago what so many walk through today.  We refer to 'the ripple effect in our conferences as the 'word picture' where a stone is drop from above into a clear and calm body of water.  What once was a perfect picture of calm and peace can suddenly be impacted and disrupted by the ripples.  The ripples roll outward and keep going for a long time.  The 'ripples' in a blended family can be many.   The list, because of the unique dymanics of each and every family can be so many.  For some there are old marriage wounds becoming new marriage baggage, the children dealing with the loss of original family, the oft times challenges of respectful co-parenting, finances, agreement on discipline issues with children, planning of schedules, transportation issues, child support, sometimes disrespect or branding of society, legal battles, and the struggle for the true identity in the new family.  The list can go for pages.  Each family knows their own.

God is a God of second chances.  His mercies are new every morning.  God used Moses, David, Samson and especially Paul, clearly the 'bad man' of the New Testament Bible who turned to Christ follower and the rest is Scripture. Sometimes it takes a blinding 'light' and being thrown to the ground in order to see our Heavenly Father as He wants us to.  
God does hate the sin that is associated generally with the breakup of a marriage.  He does not hate the sinner.  His wish for us all is to turn to Him. 
That is our message.
There are 23+ million blended family households in America today.  That is the missionary field God has sent us into.  We ask for your prayers.

Question:

Who organizes the B3 Conferences?   What do these events look like?

Answer:

Organizing, planning, promoting and providing the benefits of a 'B3 Conference' takes a team effort.   Traditionally a local church seeking to 'reach' the growing demographic of blended families see the clear need in the community.   At The Bonded Family we consult with churches to create a 'Task Force' with the sole purpose of bringing together creative, energetic, passionate and fun people who have a heart for families, children and marriage success.  Then we apply a time tested proven approach of reaching the community through media, networking, speaking opportunities, partnerships and other tools to maximize the opportunity to serve as many people as possible.  The Bonded Family team provides a 'Regional Director' to coordinate and participate with the churches task force.  We coach, encourage and provide successfully proven resources.  It does take commitment and effort in any task in life.  What the outcome looks like normally is new attendees to a church because they see the 'heart' for blended families at that particular church.  What the outcome looks like is bigger smiles, more persevering marriages and families, and more involved and committed Christians.   God is in control.  God makes the successful B3 Conference happen.  We see it all the time. If your interested in hosting a TBF event, email us at: info@thebondedfamily.com


Question:

Tell us about your radio program BLENDED FAMILY TODAY?

Answer:

BLENDED FAMILY TODAY, the radio program, is a weekly radio ministry to encourage, provide hope, motivation, and both practical and inspirational insight.  We generally will have a weekly topic or area of step-family life, a guest who may be an expert on that subject, and then have a live question and answer session.
A one hour fast paced program that is designed to be a resource for success.
Our messaging at The Bonded Family is faith-based, thus a good portion of the content will hold a foundation in faith, as well as professional insight and experiences from leading authorities in the field of blended family life.


Question:

The Bonded Family message is 'biblicly-based'. 
Do you utilize professional pyschologists, counselors, mediators or others?

Answer:

We believe that the Bible holds God's design for relationships.  The Bible is a marriage manual, a parenting manual, the relationship guide book, the inspirational message center.
We have seen time and time again in our own family and in so many other success stories that God is the best path for any step-family to go 'from Broken to Blended to Bonded'.  

We do work with, consult with and partner with many family therapists, psychologists, social workers and mediators.   We do 'coaching' but not counseling so we do refer very serious issues or challenges to professionals in the appropriate arena of expertise.


Question:

Does The Bonded Family have a particular denominational doctrine?

Answer:

Take a look at our 'Statement of Faith' published in this About Us section.

The 'Cliff's Notes' version?  We are sold out in our belief, commitment and trust in the Lord as our personal and marital foundation.  We have seen God's goodness and His glory in our own lives, relationships and our family.  Jesus Christ is our personal Savior.     We have been given so much grace in our life by a loving God that we rarely can judge another person, family or situation. 
Denominationally we do not judge one over another and recognize the differences in various denominations.   In all cases, discernment discernment of of 'is this a fit with a church' we leave up to discerment and the Holy Spirit.

Question:

Why should blended family (step-family) or an 'about to be' blended family participate in a B3 Conference from The Bonded Family?

Answer:

In America today, so many people via technology and curiosity have become great 'researchers'.  The very reason you are reading this Q & A is because you were seeking help, ideas, resources or support for a situation that you are facing.
If you've gotten to this last Question and Answer, then for sure you are searching for assistance and answers.  And with that...we hope to see you at a conference.   

Question:

Can you describe the dynamics of a blended family?

Answer:

In America today, so many different family scenarios exist that it is indeed difficult to explain a 'generalize' situation.   The key thing to remember is that together we must trust God to help us develop relationship building foundations, tools, strengths, motivators and ideas that can be used whether you are two or seventy-two.   Attached is a BLENDED FAMILY DYNAMICS DIAGRAM.
It is a powerpoint show that doesn't require you to have powerpoint software.
We hope it explains the 'spinning' that people sometimes feel.
Double Click here:   BLENDED FAMILY DYNAMICS DIAGRAM website show.pps

Question:

We are Grandparents and our Daughter has remarried and is in a step-family situation.  We don't know what to call his kids?  Help us relate to this???

Answer:

We'd love to help you 'relate'.  In fact, we believe that the greatest asset for blended families can be, and SHOULD BE, a strong faith-filled, wise Grandparents who can come alongside a family and teach love, compassion, respect, joy, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and so many other qualities generally learned later in life.   Guess where those qualities come from?  The Bible of course.

We often say at The Bonded Family...'It is by chance one becomes a step-family... it is by God's Hand you can become a FAMILY.'  All members of a new family need love.  Try seeing them as God sees them. Watch what happens.
If your heart changes..then all of a sudden, that "other" person seems better.

Often times, sadly, grandparents give up, or invest so much time, efforts and commentary diminishing a former husband (if their daughter) that they don't give the new 'Husband/Father' the respect and interest he deserves.  And vice versa if it is a new 'Wife/Mother'.   Invest in being a 'servant leader' to the new family.

Grandparents can attend a B3 Conference for $50, less than half what the parents pay.  We have Grandparents tell us after attending a conference, they now want to go help 'other' people/families/grandparents work through these challenges. 
PRAISE GOD !   Now that's the Great Commission at work.  How about you???


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DISCLAIMER: Information on The Bonded Family website is provided in a faith-based manner, for general educational purposes only, and is not intended to constitute (i) medical advice or counseling, (ii) the practice of medicine including psychiatry, psychology, psychotherapy or the provision of health care diagnosis or treatment, (iii) the creation of a psychologist/patient or clinical relationship, or (iv) an endorsement, recommendation or sponsorship of any third party product or service by The Bonded Family (TBF) or any of the TBF's affiliates, agents, employees, consultants or service providers.  If you have or suspect that you have a mental health problem, contact your health care provider promptly.

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